Managing negative emotions in the workplace
Think about a time at work when you’ve felt some sort of negative emotion. It could have been triggered by receiving not-so-fantastic feedback, dealing with a conflict, or handling a high-pressure situation. How did this negative emotion affect your response to the situation? If you've reflected back and realised that your reaction could have been handled differently, that it created a roadblock to finding a solution or made a conflict worse, you wouldn't be alone.
Negative emotions once served as a mechanism to help us escape threatening situations, playing a crucial role in our survival. However, in a modern work environment, they don't serve the same purpose. As a leader, developing the ability to identify, understand, and distance yourself from negative emotions can be a superpower that improves communication, problem-solving and overall well-being for both you and your team, steering you away from emotional reactivity.
So, how can you manage negative emotions in the workplace effectively?
Step 1: Identify your emotions
It’s difficult to respond to your emotions when you don't know what they are. While some people have vast amounts of emotional awareness, for others, it's not so easy to tap into. If you fall into the latter category, here are some tips to help you out:
Pause and Reflect: Throughout your day, take regular moments to pause and tune in to your emotions. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now?" Pay attention to any physical sensations, thoughts, or changes in your mood.
Accept All Emotions: It's important to recognise that all emotions are valid and acceptable. Don't ignore emotions that you feel are unacceptable. Each one provides valuable insights into how and why you feel things.
Label Your Emotions: Give a name to what you're feeling. Are you experiencing joy, frustration, anxiety, or excitement? Labelling emotions brings them into conscious awareness and helps you develop a vocabulary to express and communicate your feelings effectively.
Notice Triggers: Identify the situations, people, or events that evoke specific emotional responses in you. By recognising these triggers, you can better understand the patterns and underlying causes of your emotions, enabling you to pre-empt and regulate emotional responses.
Step 2: Practice Decentering
Once you can identify your emotions, the practice of decentering can help you step away from being overwhelmed by negativity and instead observe your feelings from a distance. In various workplace scenarios, including those mentioned earlier, decentering can help you maintain focus, resilience, and clear communication to find constructive resolutions. Decentering is a skill that improves with regular practice and you can start out using the following tips.
Mindfulness Meditation: Engage in regular mindfulness meditation sessions to develop heightened awareness of your thoughts and emotions. During meditation, observe your emotions without judgment, acknowledging them as passing feelings rather than identifying with them. Focusing on your breath or a specific point of attention can anchor you in the present moment and create space between yourself and your emotions, facilitating decentering.
Cognitive Reframing: This technique allows you to reevaluate how you perceive and interpret situations. When faced with strong emotions, challenge negative thought patterns and assumptions by seeking alternative perspectives. This process helps you detach from the initial emotional response and opens up the possibility of viewing the situation more objectively, reducing the intensity of the emotional impact.
Create a "Decentering Cue": Develop a physical or mental cue that reminds you to decenter when emotions become overwhelming. It could be as simple as taking a deep breath, mentally repeating a calming phrase, or visualizing yourself stepping back from the situation. This cue serves as a trigger to pause, reflect, and detach from immediate emotional reactions, allowing you to respond with greater composure and self-awareness.
Remember that it's okay to experience negative emotions, but it's essential to address them constructively to create a positive and supportive workplace culture.
